How to Encourage Independence in Toddlers and Preschoolers

Independence doesn't happen overnight. It develops gradually as little ones discover what they can do for themselves, make their own choices and become more confident trying new things.

From putting on their shoes to helping prepare dinner, everyday moments provide plenty of opportunities for children to practise new skills and develop a growing sense of independence.

In this guide, we'll explore why independence is important, how to encourage independence in toddlers and preschoolers and some simple ways you can do this at home.

Why is independence important?

Learning to do things for themselves helps children develop confidence, problem-solving skills and a growing understanding of what they're capable of.

Independence is an important part of early childhood development and is reflected throughout the Early Years Foundation Stage (EYFS) – click here to learn more.

These skills also help prepare children for the next step into school, where they'll gradually be expected to manage more of their own belongings, follow routines and make simple decisions.

Everyday activities offer plenty of opportunities to practise these skills. Getting dressed, washing their hands, tidying away toys and helping at mealtimes all encourage children to take an active role in their daily routines.

Along the way, they're also developing coordination, decision-making and the ability to work through little challenges.

How to encourage independence at home

You don't need to set aside special activities or lessons to help your little one become more independent. Some of the best opportunities happen naturally throughout the day.

Here are a few simple ways to encourage them.

1. Build on the skills they already have

Think about what your child can already do and look for small ways to build on it.

Perhaps they can put their shoes on but need a little help fastening them, or they can wash their hands but need reminding to dry them afterwards.

Breaking new tasks into smaller steps can make them feel more manageable and give your child the chance to practise at their own pace.

2. Get them involved in everyday tasks

Little ones love being included in what you're doing, and everyday household activities can be a great opportunity to develop new skills.

You could encourage them to:

• Help wash fruit and vegetables.

• Put away their toys and books.

• Choose their clothes for the day.

• Help set the table.

• Put their shoes and coat away.

• Help prepare simple meals and snacks.

These small contributions help children feel involved while giving them opportunities to practise everyday skills.

3. Offer simple choices

Giving children opportunities to make decisions helps them develop confidence in expressing their preferences.

Start with two simple options, such as asking whether they'd like to wear their blue or red jumper, or whether they'd prefer an apple or a banana.

As they become more confident, you can gradually introduce more choices and ways for them to make their own decisions.

Where possible, give choices that you're happy to follow through with, and respect their decisions. This will help your little one feel that their opinions matter.

4. Give them time to try

It's tempting to step in when your little one is taking a long time to put on their shoes or struggling with a new task, particularly when you're in a hurry.

But allowing them a little extra time to work things out can make a big difference.

They might not get it right straight away, and that's perfectly okay. Offer encouragement, give them a little help when needed and let them finish what they can themselves.

Learning through trial and error is an important part of building confidence.

5. Encourage them to keep trying

Not every new skill will come easily, and children will sometimes become frustrated when things don't go to plan.

Rather than taking over straight away, offer a little encouragement or suggest another way to approach the task.

Recognising their effort can also help them feel more confident about trying again.

Remember, independence doesn't mean having to do everything alone. Knowing when to ask for help is an important skill too.

How nurseries support children's independence

Nurseries provide lots of opportunities for children to develop independence throughout the day.

From choosing activities and exploring their surroundings to helping at mealtimes and learning to manage their belongings, children are encouraged to take an active part in everyday nursery life.

Across our nurseries, we recognise that every child develops at their own pace. Our practitioners support little ones as they discover new skills, make choices and gradually become more confident doing things for themselves.

These everyday moments might seem small, but they play an important part in helping children grow in confidence and become more independent.

A little independence goes a long way

There's no need to rush or expect your little one to master everything straight away. Independence develops gradually, through practice, encouragement and plenty of everyday opportunities.

Whether it's putting away a toy, choosing what to wear or helping prepare dinner, each little achievement is another step towards becoming more confident and capable.

Additional Resources

Naeyc - Growing Independence: Tips for Parents of Toddlers and Twos

The Butterfly Patch - Parent guide: self-regulation

The Butterfly Patch - Parent guide: cooking with your little one

The Butterfly Patch - Nursery Guide: understanding the nursery curriculum