Supporting Your Child Through Difficult Times: When Your Family Is Going Through a Challenging Period

Supporting your child through difficult times can be challenging, particularly when you're dealing with your own worries at the same time. Family life doesn't always go to plan. Illness, bereavement, relationship difficulties, financial pressures or other unexpected challenges can leave parents feeling overwhelmed — and children can often sense when something has changed.

Even when we try to protect them from difficult circumstances, young children can be very aware of the emotions and atmosphere around them. They may not understand exactly what is happening, but they can notice when their grown-ups are worried, upset or under pressure.

If your family is going through a difficult period, there are some things you can do to help your child feel secure, understood and supported.

Keep things as familiar as possible

When life feels uncertain, familiar routines can help children feel secure.

Try to keep everyday things such as nursery, mealtimes, bedtime and favourite activities as consistent as you can. It doesn't have to be perfect — even small moments of predictability can help.

Give them space to talk

Children may ask questions, repeat themselves or bring up something they've noticed several times. This is part of how they make sense of the world around them.

Listen and answer honestly, using simple language that is appropriate for their age. You don't need to give them every detail, but avoiding difficult subjects completely can sometimes leave children to make their own assumptions.

You could ask:

“What do you think is happening?”

“How did that make you feel?”

“Is there anything you'd like to ask me?”

And remember, children don't always want to talk. Sometimes playing, reading or simply spending time together is enough.

Reassure them about grown-up problems

If a child notices that adults are upset, stressed or arguing, they may wonder whether it is their fault or whether they need to make things better.

Reassure them clearly:

“This isn't because of you. The grown-ups are dealing with it.”

They need to know that the adults around them are still looking after them and that they are loved and cared for.

If they have seen or heard an argument, there's no need to pretend it didn't happen. A simple, age-appropriate explanation and reassurance can help them understand that disagreements are something the grown-ups are responsible for sorting out.

Don't forget the ordinary moments

When something difficult is happening, it can take up a lot of family life.

But children still need opportunities to play, laugh and enjoy themselves. Reading a favourite story, going outside, playing together or having a familiar bedtime routine can give them moments of connection and normality.

They don't need every moment to be focused on what is happening.

Let your nursery know

If your family is going through a particularly difficult time, you don't have to share every detail with your child's nursery. But letting their key person or manager know that things are difficult at home can be helpful.

Children may respond differently at nursery when something has changed at home. Knowing a little about what is happening can help practitioners understand their behaviour, offer reassurance and provide consistency between home and nursery.

At The Butterfly Patch, we know that families can go through difficult periods. Our role is to provide children with familiar routines, trusted relationships and a safe, supportive environment where they can continue to play, learn and be themselves.

And if things feel overwhelming, asking for support is not a sign that you're not coping — it's one way of looking after yourself and your family.

Resources for families

Family Lives

Offers support, information and advice around parenting and family life. You can call them on 0808 800 2222 or visit their website: www.coramfamilylives.org.uk.

Child Bereavement UK

Provides support and guidance for children and families following the death of someone important to them. Visit www.childbereavementuk.org to learn more.

YoungMinds Parents Helpline

Free, confidential advice for parents and carers who are concerned about their child's mental health. Call 0808 802 5544, Monday to Friday, or contact them online: www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/parents-helpline.

Family Action – FamilyLine

Free support for adults who are worried, stressed or overwhelmed by any aspect of family life, including parenting, relationships, conflict, caring and financial worries. Call 0808 802 6666, text 07537 404 282, or visit their website: family-action.org.uk